How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

Inspirational Book To Transform Your Life - Achievement And Goal Setting

“Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them. Let’s try to figure out why they do what they do. That’s a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism; and it breeds sympathy, tolerance and kindness. ‘To know all is to forgive all.’”
 

“Remember that the people you are talking to are a hundred times more interested in themselves and their wants and problems than they are in you and your problems. A person’s toothache means more to that person than a famine in China which kills a million people. A boil on one’s neck interests one more than forty earthquakes in Africa. Think of that the next time you start a conversation.”

The message: Education, not manipulation

The success of Carnegie’s adult courses revealed a deep desire for education in the “soft skills” of leading people, expressing ideas, and creating enthusiasm.

The book lists 27 principles, but most follow the logic of these first couple. They include:
❖ Arouse in the other person an eager want.
❖ Become genuinely interested in other people.
❖ The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
❖ Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say “you’re wrong.”
❖ If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
❖ Begin in a friendly way.
❖ Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
❖ Appeal to the nobler motives.
❖ Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.

“If we merely try to impress people and get people interested in us, we will never have many true, sincere friends. Friends, real friends, are not made that way.”

In a nutshell

Really try to see the world as another sees it. The appreciation he or she feels means that whatever you have to say will be truly heard.